how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
