yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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