on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize