i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
