That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
