shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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