I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
