i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
