Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
