I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize