Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize