We're like a lot better than the average bears
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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