I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
