I want to stick my p in your. b.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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