He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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