i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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