I'm so fucking centered right now
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
