she peed on how many people?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
