No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize