At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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