You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
