summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
