I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize