We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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