i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
