Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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