hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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