I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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