and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
