I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Randomize
