so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize