arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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