meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
