Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
