So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
