You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize