i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
