just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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