what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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