I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize