i think i have two assholes
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I said "one day" and that day is not today
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
