Screwed.edu
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize
