Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
