I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
one might say we're banned from that church
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize