So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
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