I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize