my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize