in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
