I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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