Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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