Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
