omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
