My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
