I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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