PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
