I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Hippo gnu deer
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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