He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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