someone get that fucking seahorse.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
