i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
