My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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