Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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