I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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