Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize