What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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