Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
