Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
