i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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