I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
