Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
