thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I supernannyed him into submission
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
