Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
