who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
