Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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