He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
