my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
